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Pandora Pagan: The (Very Late) Yule Special

By Chrissy Derbyshire

Pandora Pagan #10 -- Santa's List -- Pandora: 'Dear Santa, In this, the season of rabid capitalism, I have sent you some clippings of adverts for stuff I want for Yule. In return, I will leave you mince pies and mead as usual. Thanks Santa!'

TEH FANGURL DIKSHUNRY -- Wanna tlk liek fangurl? -- Teh Fangurl Dikshunry will celver you with celverness! -- Slash Wkly's Lydia Malings says 'OMGWTFBBQ!'

PROF. EMRYS RUCK'S SUBTEXT-O-MATIC (Patent Pending) -- Are you disturbed that you cannot see the whole Doctor/Master thing? Professor of subtextology Emrys Ruck has studied for many years in order to reach the point where he can see gay subtext in almost anything. Now you can see it too! With the Subtext-O-Matic, you will be seeing references to rimming in 'Barney the Dinosaur' in no time! -- [The above diagram depicts Prof. Rock's invention in use.] -- [Another happy customer discusses tarot with the inventor: 'Queen of Rods! Hee hee!']

NEW! LIFESIZE VOODOO GUY DOLL -- From Kim's Curse-Related Playthings - 'Because sticking pins in people is fun!' -- Real hair! -- So Goth it hurts! -- Anatomically correct! -- Comes with roll of sticky labels: KILL, POKE, TICKLE, MINE

Now available from Gays R Us -- THE DR GAY AND STEVEMAN CLOSET PLAYSET -- Says all your favourite phrases! -- Every little boy wants a Dr Gay! -- Dr Gay: 'Come out of the close, SteveMan! I have beer for you under my kilt!' -- SteveMan: 'OK!'

Anne Beltanes presents: -- THE HUTTONTRON 3000 -- At last, the writer of such great works as 'Pagan Orgies of the British Isles' and 'Triumph of the Nude' is immortalised in a vibrator! -- It will ROCK your preconceptions! -- 8/10 Pagans prefer it to the Rampant Rankine! -- Rampant Rankine: 'Bzz, I say to thee'

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