The All-Seeing Eye

Greetings Illuminated Ones!

 

Firstly, OMGWTHBBQ!!!! Barack Obama won the election!!!! HOW COULD WE LET THIS HAPPEN!!!! Where were the CIA, FBI, NSA, KKK, KFC, RSVP and all the rest of our agents? What do we pay good money for if we can't get our man elected to public office? We'll have to hope that Obama takes a trip to Dallas sometime soon, if you know what I'm saying.

 

At least our attempts to subvert British democracy are going well. We have successfully arrested an opposition MP for daring to criticise the government and soon the police will have the power to ask to see your ID on demand, just like in any tinpot dictatorship. "Uncle Joe" Brown just keeps on delivering.

 

Meanwhile, the Credit Crunch (can I call it a recession yet?) proceeds apace and soon the British economy will be in tatters. Then we can step in and buy up British assets at a knock down price. The New World Order inches closer every day and I can barely contain my excitement. Whoops, thar she blows! Damn, that was a brand new pair of jeans. Oh well, back to Primark I go.

 

Oh yes, and our annual Murder Mystery Weekend in Mumbai got a little out of hand this year. Could we please remember to show a little more restraint in future?

 

Conspiratorially yours,

 

Frater W.A.N.K.E.R.

 

NB: This document was found in the stomach of a beluga whale in a Japanese restaurant in...Look, I can't keep this up any more. It was banged out on a clapped out computer in my flat, OK?

 

Or was it...