Handbag Divination

The smoky bar was covered in an iridescent glow of burning cigarettes and beer-covered tables... Men played strange gambling games in shadowing corners, and the barman busied himself drying glasses.

Suddenly, a bar door swung open, cutting through the smoke like a knife, and all eyes turned, watching... A woman's sleek-stockinged leg slid through, heels glittering in the dim light, calf taught and supple... The other leg followed, and then the rest of the slender body. The woman's eyes were veiled, and all that could be made out from her face were the brightly rouged lips.

The men in the bar averted their gazes... They knew why she was there.

The woman made her way indignantly to a shadowy corner of the bar, where a lone figure sat, the smoke rising from underneath the brim of a black hat. Sitting down, she carefully adjusted her skirt, pouted her lips some more, and waited.

"I know why you are here..." a deep, cracked voice floated from underneath the black hat, bringing with it a stream of smoke.

The woman shifted uneasily. "I need some help," she said. "I was told you were the one to help me..."

"Yes..." Another breath of smoke. "You wish me to tell you what will happen in the future my dear..." The woman nodded shyly. "In that case, please pass me my handbag: the one just by your feet..."

The woman picked up a shiny red handbag which rattled and jingled almost musically.

"Now, I want you to think hard upon your question. I will then draw from the handbag your answer..." Silence ensued, until the black-hatted figure finally reached into the handbag, drawing out...

"The Broken Lipstick! Oh my poor child! The Broken Lipstick points to low self esteem issues. You have been going through a rough time my dear, haven't you?"

The woman nodded almost imperceptibly, and the black-hatted figure reached into the bag once more.

"This is what crosses you..." The hand once more came out of the handbag holding another item. "The Lighter That Doesn't Work! This suggests that the obstacle in your way is a lack of energy, and a lack of desire..." The hand once more reached into the bag.

"This is below you, the foundations of the problem." Gasps, as the hand drew out another item. "The Mouldy Sweet! The root of the issue relates to relationships gone sour and stagnant." A soft whimper came from the quivering lips of the woman, who now sat on the edge of her seat, her fingers drumming the table nervously.

"This is before you, the near future..." Sighs. "The Tatty Passport Photo. This indicates a longing for the past, nostalgia... In the near future you will look to old times and long for them..." Another dip into the handbag.

"This is ahead of you, the long term future." Another item revealed itself. "The Broken Pencil... Oh my poor poor dear... The relationship we spoke about at the root of this problem will go even more stagnant... A non-existent sex-life is in the future for you." The hand went into the handbag once more...

"This is the environment you are in... The Used Handkerchief! You feel used and thrown away, and you feel as though you are worthless... The environment you are in encourages these feelings..." Another dip into the bag...

"Here we have the advice on how to solve the problem.... The Hand Mirror... Oh, and the Used Train Ticket as well! My dear, you need to get out of the relationship before it gets any worse, and you need to start seeing your beauty for what it really is. Go find yourself another man, a nice man..."

From beneath the veil, a small tear trickled, and the woman's rouged lips smiled slightly. She nodded to the black-hatted figure, handed them a few coins, and left, the eyes of the card-players and drinkers following her as she did so.

Back in the shadowy corner, the black-hatted figure had taken off the hat, revealing a woman's face and long black hair. She lit up a cigarette, took a sip of her drink, reached into her handbag a last time and drew out the Rider Waite Tarot pack.

Shuffling the deck, she laid out the cards and sat in quiet contemplation...